What does a person really own?? I mean really? What do you have true ownership of? We make payments on everything just for the chance to own it. As a trucker’s wife my husband is gone more than he’s not and some folks may guess I am the owner of a lonely heart. Some trucker’s wives can’t deal with the loneliness and find companionship outside of their marriage. I can honestly say that I have never even had the desire to pull a stunt like that.
Many years before my husband and I had ever crossed paths I searched hopelessly for that perfect someone who would make my life complete. It finally took being raped for me to realize that I had to grow strong within myself, be comfortable in my own skin, my faith in G0d, and find my own inner peace. Being raped changed me but I made a conscious decision when I came home from the hospital and police station that I was NOT going to live in fear. I would go into my house and lock the door and if someone got to me at that point, it was meant to be. I learned from my mistakes not to be so trusting. I trusted G0d to take care of me and found my safe haven within. I learned I really didn’t need to have anyone else to make me happy.
From the series of events that led up to this catalyst in my life from my mom’s death which left me isolated to now, I have learned to find my strength, my safe haven, my companion from within. I learned to enjoy my own company. I forced myself to go to the mall alone, eat out alone, you get the picture. You hear people say…get a hobby. I did. My hobbies are all things I am perfectly happy to do alone whether it be writing, crocheting, reading, or listening to music. After my mom’s death I spent hours playing the piano. I don’t do that so much anymore, but the point is…I keep busy.
One time I heard a sermon at church that really stayed with me. The whole point was that everything we have is given to us by G0d. He supplies us with money to buy stuff and for a while we go through the motions of “owning” it. Seems to me, we are just “using” it for a while until we move on to the next step. When you die you leave it all behind to be fought over by your next of kin and then one of them will own it, or sell it.
After much contemplation I have decided I own much more valuable stuff than I realized…contentment, peace of mind, and I am my favorite companion. I also have faith. At least those things can’t be stolen, raped, burned, trashed, and will never deteriorate or mold which is cool. Can’t buy it in a store…it is priceless. It is your own personal safe harbor, and like Visa it is wherever you happen to be. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
One time I heard a sermon at church that really stayed with me. The whole point was that everything we have is given to us by G0d. He supplies us with money to buy stuff and for a while we go through the motions of “owning” it. Seems to me, we are just “using” it for a while until we move on to the next step. When you die you leave it all behind to be fought over by your next of kin and then one of them will own it, or sell it. 
No comments:
Post a Comment