Am I superstitious?? Well, maybe just a little. I have heard several wives tales over the years that I take to heart and some I completely ignore. On the most part I believe it is a bunch of horse $hit, but at the same time refuse to pi$$ off the powers that be by completely ignoring them.
For example, when a bird flew into the window and my great uncle dropped dead at pretty much the same moment, I jumped on the band wagon with my grandma and was officially freaked out. It was a sign!!! I have always heard about the possibility of 7 years of bad luck if you happen to break a mirror. So I make a point to be extra careful with mirrors. You can also bet that anytime I see money on the street, whether it be a penny or a quarter, I pick that baby up. I don’t really believe that the coin will bring me good luck, but hell at least I am a little richer than I was a moment before. Besides I will take all the help I can get!!
As far as black cats, anyone that knows me at all knows that I don’t give a rats a$$ about that little tale. I have had many black cats over the course of my life. I love cats and currently own the sweetest black kitten that has ever crossed my path in the history of time. Rosie meows when she wants attention, and then when you approach her she begins to purr and sing. On the same note, I do take in account not to walk under a ladder. It just makes perfect sense that it could collapse onto my head, either that or I would trip over it. I am a born klutz!
When I was a kid I jumped over the cracks to ensure that I wouldn’t break my mother’s back. I was terrified that one was true. After a while, I quit avoiding the cracks. I would hate to think that is why my mother later was diagnosed with multiple myeloma which eventually took her life. She suffered greatly with the disease and her bones would fracture simply from a bout of vomiting or a stretch of leaf raking.
While most superstitious talk is probably a load of hogwash, one can never be to careful. I still wish upon stars and while blowing out candles. On Friday the 13th, I go about my business with a little more caution than I normally would and may say a special prayer. If you have the time to look into it, there are superstitions and wives tales about just about everything! A person could make themselves certifiably nuts to the point the men in the white coats are itching to take you away to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time. I tend to take most superstitions with a grain of salt.
In the end, I only carry one form of good luck charm with me at all times. It is a small card which has served me well. On it there is a picture of Je$u$ with his arms open wide which states “How much do you love me? I asked Je$u$, and Je$u$ said, This much…, Then he spread his arms and died for me.” With faith, hope, and trust, and a little pixie dust, Peter Pan could fly! So with a heart willed with faith, who needs a good luck charm? Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
What does a person really own?? I mean really? What do you have true ownership of? We make payments on everything just for the chance to own it. As a trucker’s wife my husband is gone more than he’s not and some folks may guess I am the owner of a lonely heart. Some trucker’s wives can’t deal with the loneliness and find companionship outside of their marriage. I can honestly say that I have never even had the desire to pull a stunt like that.
Many years before my husband and I had ever crossed paths I searched hopelessly for that perfect someone who would make my life complete. It finally took being raped for me to realize that I had to grow strong within myself, be comfortable in my own skin, my faith in G0d, and find my own inner peace. Being raped changed me but I made a conscious decision when I came home from the hospital and police station that I was NOT going to live in fear. I would go into my house and lock the door and if someone got to me at that point, it was meant to be. I learned from my mistakes not to be so trusting. I trusted G0d to take care of me and found my safe haven within. I learned I really didn’t need to have anyone else to make me happy.
From the series of events that led up to this catalyst in my life from my mom’s death which left me isolated to now, I have learned to find my strength, my safe haven, my companion from within. I learned to enjoy my own company. I forced myself to go to the mall alone, eat out alone, you get the picture. You hear people say…get a hobby. I did. My hobbies are all things I am perfectly happy to do alone whether it be writing, crocheting, reading, or listening to music. After my mom’s death I spent hours playing the piano. I don’t do that so much anymore, but the point is…I keep busy.
One time I heard a sermon at church that really stayed with me. The whole point was that everything we have is given to us by G0d. He supplies us with money to buy stuff and for a while we go through the motions of “owning” it. Seems to me, we are just “using” it for a while until we move on to the next step. When you die you leave it all behind to be fought over by your next of kin and then one of them will own it, or sell it.
After much contemplation I have decided I own much more valuable stuff than I realized…contentment, peace of mind, and I am my favorite companion. I also have faith. At least those things can’t be stolen, raped, burned, trashed, and will never deteriorate or mold which is cool. Can’t buy it in a store…it is priceless. It is your own personal safe harbor, and like Visa it is wherever you happen to be. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
Road blocks are part of life. Two steps forward, three steps back. Sometimes it seems like the detours take you so far out of the way you don’t even recognize the path you were on when you finally get back to it because everything has changed. Even the most perfectly laid plans can be destroyed in an instance. In the blink of an eye…someone dies, a job is lost, a job is found, and everything can change.
I used to scoff at the people that I would encounter when I made my sporadic visits to church. You know the ones. They jump up in front of everyone and give testimony about how the L0rd spoke to them personally. “Look at me! Look at me!“ One person went so far as to say G0d told them to do cartwheels in church. For a long time I was doubtful and cynical. In my opinion they just wanted attention…period. G0d had never wasted His precious time on me…he had bigger fish to fry. That was my opinion then.
One Thanksgiving morning I went to the grocery store to get a newspaper. I managed to fall flat on my face in the parking lot tearing my favorite pants. Unfortunately, from that day on I experienced pain in my leg that became progressively worse. It got to a point where I had moments of paralysis and pain. I spent months running to doctors and therapists finally finding myself with back surgery looming. With pain a constant companion, I buried myself between the covers of my Bible. I withdrew into myself and had a heart to heart with G0d. I put the whole situation into His capable hands praying for the strength to get me through it and be able to take care of my children in the aftermath. If I never walked again, so be it. I just wanted the strength to survive and persevere through whatever I needed to.
It seemed I was destined for back surgery and I fretted about how I was going to handle life alone once my husband went back on the road. When it was time for my pre-op appointment, I returned to the surgeon. After examining me he sat down and took my hand. He looked me straight in the eye and told me I no longer needed surgery with a smile that lit up the whole room. The herniated disk and pinched nerve had miraculously healed themselves. He had no other explanations on how this could have occurred. I cried the whole way home thanking G0d for healing me. It was the first time in my life I really knew G0d was present for me. He has been an obvious presence ever since. Not just a force that took my parents from me, but an almighty presence that watches over me, helps me, and does provide in all ways. Even when writer’s block rears its nasty head, He provides the words and they flow.
Since that time, my faith has grown to overwhelming proportions. Prayers are answered. Lessons are learned. Roadblocks are overcome. Strength is given. I may not have a lot, but I have all I need. Amazingly enough, I get it now. I have faith, and I believe. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
As far as black cats, anyone that knows me at all knows that I don’t give a rats a$$ about that little tale. I have had many black cats over the course of my life. I love cats and currently own the sweetest black kitten that has ever crossed my path in the history of time. Rosie meows when she wants attention, and then when you approach her she begins to purr and sing. On the same note, I do take in account not to walk under a ladder. It just makes perfect sense that it could collapse onto my head, either that or I would trip over it. I am a born klutz!
