Loved ones are the people you hold most dear in your lives. They may be your friends or your family. They are your everyday support system and help you navigate life through the valleys and the high points. They love you unconditionally, no matter what. They are there for you. They make life worth living. In my life few have held the exalted position of being termed as loved ones. At this point my husband and two children top the list. They are the loves of my life. Without them, my life wouldn’t be complete. Without them, my Christmas wouldn’t be merry and bright.
Sometimes the people that fall in that classification include a close knit group of friends. They take over where the biological family fails and become as treasured as if they had always been there. They are the chosen ones, not the family we were born into that we had no choice over.
Sadly people come and go throughout a person’s lives. Even loved ones evolve and pass from this life onto the next. Even more sad, oftentimes the biological family you are dealt in life turn out to be on the same page as your enemies. Even though they should by all rights be amongst your loved ones, they are not. They join the group of those people who make it their number one priority to make your life a misery. You find yourself wishing the world would stop and let them off. If people were truly honest, they would admit that every family has at least one troublemaker who makes life difficult for everyone else.
No matter whom you count as the most near and dear to your heart, without these precious people, life would lose its luster. In the song titled “The Twelve Days of Christmas”, the two turtle doves that represent our loved ones make up a powerful and essential component of Christmas. It is little wonder they are included in the song considering all they symbolize. Love makes life worthwhile not only on Christmas, but on everyday throughout the year. That is all I have to say until the next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
Have you ever sat down and thought about what you wanted to accomplish before you kicked the bucket?? Would you like to go skydiving, ride a bull, climb a mountain, love deeper, and try to make peace and forgive those you hadn’t before? Seeing my mom die at the age of 51 and my dad at 65, the ole bucket list has a little more meaning for me because mine includes all the things that the two of them missed out on through no fault of their own. It woke me up to the reality of how precious and short life is. If they hadn’t died so young I probably wouldn’t have had such an insight into this topic and realized that a lot of what is on my own bucket list was on theirs as well. I want to live each day knowing that maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow I can!
I want to see both my kids grow up, marry, and have kids of their own settled and happy. I want to enjoy the overwhelming happiness of being the mother of the bride and groom. I look forward to gaining another son and daughter on the day of their marriages and welcoming them with open arms into the family. I want to hold each of my grandchildren, cherish them, and spend as much time with them as I can. Ideally I would love to see them grown and married pursuing their own lives with vigor. I want to see all the little things that matter most, and be there for the special moments of their lives from graduations to weddings. I want to be there to celebrate with them and comfort them in their times of sorrow. I want my kids, their significant others, and my grandkids to congregate at my house for good ole fashion family reunions filled with laughter and tons of food at every major holiday. I want them to never doubt for one millisecond how much I truly love them.
I would like to see a day when all the bills are paid up to date and I still have money in my pocket. Even though I know my bill collectors wouldn’t know how to act if they couldn’t harass me for money, I might just miss telling them when they threaten collection that I’ve been there and done that. It would be a hardship for them not to have the privilege of winning a free bushel of horse $hit for their trouble or the pleasure of me encouraging them to kiss it. I wish a day would come when my husband wouldn’t have to work so hard, and I could spend most of my days at his side. I would give anything if he could be home more and we still would be able to pay bills and enjoy life. That doesn’t figure in very well when you are paid by the mile and you love to drive a semi truck. If that truck isn’t rolling, there is no money to be had.
I want to be able to explore the world with my little family. If not Europe and the Caribbean, then Disney World and some of the great travel hot spots in the United States. I want to be able to use my camper as a means of lodging while we travel cross country exploring all the beauty I can find. Since I haven’t been anywhere in years, going any place would be welcome. I love to explore!! I want to make memories with my husband and kids that I can cherish for the rest of my life and document in pictures.
Most of all I want to live a life filled with laughter. Instead of my cup running over with sadness, I prefer overflowing with happiness. I would accept the daily challenge to find the blessings in each day and be thankful for each one no matter how small and insignificant. A big one on my bucket list is to know deep in my heart when I do die that my family know without a doubt how much I cherished each of them and enjoyed the wild ride of life at their side. That is all I have to say until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
All during school I was constantly infatuated with someone. In my junior and senior year of high school my affections focused on one particular boy. I am ashamed to admit I chased him around school with big love sick puppy dog eyes with my tongue hanging out and drooling. Looking back, I was so pathetic!!
He was the stereotypical jock. He was quarterback of the football team, played basketball, and baseball. I didn’t have any classes with him that I can recall but that didn’t stop me from drooling over him and pursuing him with a vengeance. At the time I thought he was the next best thing to sliced bread. Being so athletic, he was muscular, tall, dark and handsome. All my school girl fantasies revolved around him. The only real problem with him that ever came to light was that he was head over heels in love with someone else and took great delight in telling me about it. Glutton for punishment that I was, I would call him up on the phone and listen to him go on and on about HER. UGH!!
Stupid me. I joined the pep club so I could be his locker pal. What that meant was that before every game I would decorate his locker. Since I was so artistic, I had no problem making each weeks locker decoration a virtual masterpiece. I even baked him brownies more than once. I bought season tickets for football, basketball, and baseball and went to every single game to cheer him on. It felt like everyone there knew I was there for him, which in hindsight made it even more embarrassing.
There were definite highlights to my pursuit. In senior year, the football team beat a powerhouse of a rival. The student body jumped the field in their exuberance to congratulate the team and celebrate. I made a beeline for him and tackled him. Yes I admit it! I took my opportunity, ran with it, and jumped his bones rolling around in the mud!! It gave me the perfect excuse, and I took it!! All these years later, I still remember how fun that was.
By my senior year my affection began to wane due to his constant proclamations of love for this other girl. He never asked me out, never asked me to the winter formal, or the prom. He took her. Go figure. I stayed home. By graduation, I had given up the ghost realizing that it had been a worthy pursuit…but it was over.
The following fall I was home from college and went to a basketball game. To my shock he came up to me and embraced me. I will never forget it. He was all over me like a bad rash. As we sat on the bleachers he told me how he had went to see that girl and found her with someone else. He was devastated and was looking to me for comfort. I could have took this opportunity and ran with it. All those years of rejection welled up inside me at that moment and I blew him off and was happy to do so. I have to admit that I took complete pleasure in turning the tables on him and being a complete bitch.
Although I have always felt a little guilty for the way I treated him on that night, the other part of me feels vindicated and was more than happy to move on. His shiny armor had fallen and revealed the a$$ he had always been in glaring light. It made me wish I hadn’t wasted all of high school pining for someone who didn’t give a tinker’s damn if I lived or died. Sure, he was gorgeous…but in the end he really wasn’t very nice at all.
He broke my heart with his rejection and in hindsight all these years later I can’t imagine what I seen in him! If it hadn't hurt so bad at the time, it wouldn’t be called a crush would it?? Thank heavens my husband came along and swept me off my feet so I could finally know what it felt like to be loved and cherished. It is good to know that there is a soul mate for everyone and you probably won't find him the first place you look. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a truckers wife.
