Hindsight 20/20-BFF 144

     While I was growing up my mom would often tell me when things didn’t go my way (which seemed to be more times than not), that everything happens for a reason. It may not be for us to understand now, but down the line the “why” would become clear. The answers I sought wouldn’t reveal themselves in my time, but in G0ds and oftentimes out of every catastrophe knowledge would be gained. I have found this to be very true and when things are going south, I now find solace in the “big picture” knowing that whatever trial I am facing will result in a lesson well learned in the future. There is a reason for everything. When I am ready to be open to the answers I seek, they will be revealed. Even though I try to be optimistic and let go and let G0d, I get impatient and depressed with the cruelty of fate just like everyone else.

     Throughout life we all make choices. Sometimes they aren’t the best choices, but we rush forward anyways completely oblivious. You don’t realize that it is the wrong choice until after it is too late. Friends and relatives will try to beat sense into our noggins only to be rebuffed. Then hindsight sneaks up and takes a juicy bite out of you’re a$$, and you learn from it whether you want to or not. Somehow, someway you learn, and the next time around hopefully turns out a lot better. You make better choices and become more in tune with who you are, what you need, and what you want in life to finally grasp the brass ring of happiness.

  

   Most of us go through life frantically looking for the fairytale to the point we ignore what should have been obvious. You want the happy ever after so badly, you are willing to settle for the first a$$ or option that comes along no matter what your gut instinct tells you. I ignored my ex-husband’s drinking problem, I ignored the drugs, and believed like a complete idiot that once I was married that all that would change and life would be perfect. Even as the first bars of the wedding march began to play, I knew I was making a big mistake. I went right on ahead anyways not having the backbone at the time to run back up the aisle until I seen daylight. People do it all the time. I just didn’t have the balls. I believed in happily ever after in all circumstances.

     Sometimes you want something so badly that you rush into something and by rushing you end up royally screwed and with nothing. Like the house we tried to have built, we didn’t realize at the time we would have been a lot better off renting a house with the land we needed, or even attempting to buy it. No one could tell us different. The contractor in charge of the details filed bankruptcy and we got a royal screwing that left our credit shattered. You can bet, we learned from that mistake and ended up right where we should have all along.

     In hindsight, everything becomes crystal clear and eventually we all end up on the paths we were meant to travel on. We learn the hard way, one way or another, that things are just as they should be for better or for worse. With that said, in hindsight…our outlook becomes 20/20 and our vision for the present and the future becomes a little clearer. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.